Around 18 months have passed since my last post. I’m still going to church with my son and I’m still reaching for the new Christian life and the change that I referred to in my last post.n
In the interim period I discovered the Christian teacher Derek Prince who has become the bridge between my mystical experiences of the last 15 years and Christianity. If you haven’t heard of him, I thoroughly recommend reading some of his books and watching some of his presentations.
Anyway, I came to him in a state of sickness. First, at the beginning of the year, it was persistent migraines and the feeling that I was in a pit of spiritual despair, trapped by unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour. More recently, I found myself unable to eat due to nausea and I feared the return of a serious illness which had struck me down some 5 years ago.
This week, I found myself buying and reading Derek’s little book God’s Medicine Bottle and yesterday I commenced the prescription of taking God’s Word, three times a day with meals!
Derek advocates taking a simple, honest approach to this exercise and having never really spent any time studying the Bible (I know that must be strange to read and I do find it conspicuous that I have had what I can only describe as an aversion to Bible study) I didn’t really know where to begin. However, a verse from Proverbs quoted by Derek piqued my interest, so that where I started.
I’d only got to Chapter 5 and was hit hard by the prospect that God had taken me straight to the source of my sickness: adultery. Around 10 years ago, I had allowed a situation to develop which, however else I may try to frame it, constituted adultery. Proverbs 5 says:
- Adultery is the road to death;
- Caught in the net of one’s own sin;
- His utter stupidity will send him to his grave.
Well, not much to take comfort from there, but it certainly rings true to what has happened to my health since those days and also explains why God was angry with me when I heard His voice a couple of years ago.
I said a prayer of repentance and as I carried on making my way through Proverbs, I found Chapters 7 and 8 which introduce Wisdom as a woman who was God’s earliest companion when creating the Earth.
4 Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister, and call understanding thy kinswoman,
As I read these Chapters, I received an instruction to build a prayer from Proverbs 8 and that this would protect me from the effects of my past mistakes and guard against repeating the mistake in the future (not that I would ever let that happen again). It would also guard against all other forms of stupidity that we’re prone to as humans as well as open ourselves up to the many gifts that Wisdom wants to impart upon us.
The prayer wrote itself in minutes and I invite you to use it in your own healing.
Lord, I come to you
To ask that I hear Wisdom
In the silence of prayer and in the clamour of the day
May I always be bound to her guidance
In Her I am mature
In Her I have sense
I Her I am truth
She blesses me with clear vision and deepens my love for you
I love Wisdom and in return
She blesses me with riches, honour, prosperity and success
She leads me to you
And so in finding her I have found life
Lord, I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ